let me buy back the woman you stole

I woke up today and I realized that it has been a month since we've moved from Zaharia. And for the first few weeks, settling in was an occupying task that kept my mind from accepting the truth of the matter. But now that things have slowed down, I realize that we're in for the long haul.

Because of the uncertainty of the future, I now find it difficult to make any concrete plans for myself. This makes me feel angry, depressed, and I feel trapped. The friends I had no longer exist in my immediate life. It's all family, family, family. And I love my parents and siblings, don't get me wrong... but this new life is sufficating the person I used to call myself.

How long will I have to rest in this trench that I've started to dig myself into?

I can't keep thinking this way. I have to re-invent myself or else I'll die inside.

tightly knit kinship

Ezra and I went to the camp today to pick up our food rations. The situation with the sick section of the camp cleared up after a day or two. In one section of the camp, this gigantic family designated a few members to prepare the food, and one of these cooks was sick, so they traced the problem back to him. This is just another bullet point to add to my list of reasons why I will never live in that camp... or any camp at that! *Shivers*

Zoe and I have been cooperating quite well, despite having to be in closer quarters more often due to mom being out of commission. She cooks lunch and I cook dinner. Zeke likes to help out, although he just usually makes a mess, so we told him that his efforts would be better used toward helping mom walk around, getting her something to drink/eat, and whatever else she might need. Mom just sits and knits all day, so I'm glad that Zoe and I got her knitting materials for her birthday. This is such a damned set-back in any progress we might be able to make over here. No matter how limited it was at first. Ugh.

just lovely.

While cleaning this morning, my mother fell and broke her ankle. I'm sure her scream could be heard all the way in Icasia, it was ear-piercing! So, I fetched my dad from work and Uncle Zack helped us bring her to the camp's doctor. After waiting for three hours since the doctor was away from his office as they were trying to determine why a certain section of the camp is sick, my mom was finally cared for. The ICRC doctor was from the US, and was able to diagnose the exact bone situation. He said that it was a clean break, which is easy to put a cast on ankle/feet region and it should heal pretty fast. My mom has the amazing ability to recover quickly to begin with (a gene that I surely didn't receive!) so if all goes as planned, within 6 weeks she'll be back to normal. The doctor requested that unless there's a big problem, only to come to see him when the 6 weeks is over as they keep very busy all day.

Luckily Zoe and I are old enough to cook, clean, and take of miscellaneous house chores, so she can relax. Unfortunately, I believe this will only add to her slow growing depression of feeling alone. I'll keep you informed about her progress.