let me buy back the woman you stole

I woke up today and I realized that it has been a month since we've moved from Zaharia. And for the first few weeks, settling in was an occupying task that kept my mind from accepting the truth of the matter. But now that things have slowed down, I realize that we're in for the long haul.

Because of the uncertainty of the future, I now find it difficult to make any concrete plans for myself. This makes me feel angry, depressed, and I feel trapped. The friends I had no longer exist in my immediate life. It's all family, family, family. And I love my parents and siblings, don't get me wrong... but this new life is sufficating the person I used to call myself.

How long will I have to rest in this trench that I've started to dig myself into?

I can't keep thinking this way. I have to re-invent myself or else I'll die inside.